Star Wars (AU) If Jar Jar Binks became a Jedi - Chapter I-3
by sahandhanapala30
Summary: Ever wondered what is would be like if the galaxy's' most famous psychopath Jar Jar Binks had force powers and became a Jedi? In this story, Qui-Gon-Jinn and his padawan Obi-Wan-Kenobe discovers that The Trade Federation is planning to attack Naboo. They have to take this information to the queen, and while at it, they meet an unusual creature, who is force sensitive.


Chapter 1: Obi-Wan's Milkshake 

The Radiant VII came out of hyperspace just as the Saak'ak came in to view. Around the Saak'ak, there were many small cruisers, which was odd because there were way too many turbolaser cannons on them, a lot more than the amount needed.

"We're here. Shall we start the docking procedure, ambassador?" Maoi Madakor, the commander of the Radiant VII asked Qui-Gon-Jinn. Qui-Gon is the master of Obi-Wan-Kenobe, who was sitting behind the pilot, fiddling with his lightsaber hilt.

"Yes carry on", Qui-Gon replied. Maoi nodded and spoke to the microphone

"This is commander Maoi Madakor, the captain of the Radiant VII , ambassador Jinn and his student Kenobi are here to negotiate matters regarding the blockade. We request permission to dock".

"This is Daultay Dofine, the captain of the Saak'ak and I grant you permission to dock. Landing bay 8 is clear for docking."

As the message ended, the captain pushed the throttle bar slightly and the ship started slowly moving towards the Saak'ak's landing bay 8.

As the Radiant VII came in, the hanger door closed with a hiss. As Qui-Gon got up, he looked at Obi-Wan who was desperately trying to put his lightsaber back together.

"Well this is embarrassing", Obi-Wan said, as he noticed that Maoi was trying to hide her giggle.

"We are on a tight schedule, so we can't waste time here waiting for a padawan to do something that can be done by a youngling in two minutes." Qui-Gon said, as he handed Obi-Wan a bag.

"I'm sorry master", Obi-Wan said, putting the pieces of his lightsaber into the bag.

As Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan came through the door, they saw many vulture droids and battle droids walking around. This made the Jedi feel uneasy because they came here for a "peaceful negotiation".

"Hello, my name is ES-61, and we are pleased with your visit, ambassadors. Please follow me.", a droid greeted the ambassadors.

The ambassadors followed the droid into the meeting room.

"My master will be here shortly. Would you two gentlemen like to drink something," the droid asked.

"Nothing for me, thank y-"

"Sure, I would love some Apple juice!", Obi-Wan interrupted his master.

"Kenobi! A youngling behaves better than you!" Qui-Gon-Jinn snapped.

"I'm very sorry master. Oh and you, EP...E2... Ah ES-61, yes you, I would rather have a chocolate milk shake, if you will" Obi wan told the droid.

"Yes sir" the droid said as Obi-Wan looked at his surprised master and shrugged.

Obi-Wan opened his bag and pulled out the lightsaber pieces. He carefully laid them over the table and by the time he was finished the droid came back with Obi-Wan's Milk shake.

Obi wan said thanks to the droid. He ignited his blue lightsaber and retracted it just as fast.

The droid left the room and started walking in the direction of the command room. The droid pushed through a row of battle droids and made his way towards the captain.

"Master, the ambassadors are here. It seems that they are Jedi knights. I saw the milk shake Jedi ignite his lightsaber." The droid told the captain of the Saak'ak, Daultay Dofine, who looked suprised.

"WHAT? A Jedi? They will definitely find out about our plans" the captain said.

Forgetting his question about the "milk shake", the captain spoke clearly into the microphone that was next to a control panel.

"Destroy the Jedi"

Chapter 2: Escaping the fine mess

Even before the announcement ended, the Jedi had their lightsabers ignited and was running towards landing bay 8. When they came across a group of battle droids, they ran the other way, deflecting laser bolts back at the droids.

"Master, they started attacking us just as they found out that we are Jedi's. It seems as if they are up to something", Obi-Wan said as he deflected a laser bolt, which went and hit the last battle droid that was chasing them.

"Yes, I had a feeling things weren't going to be successful", his master replied.

Obi-Wan slowed down when he heard loud marching sound coming their way. Gesturing his master to follow him, he hid behind a tools rack. As the marching battle droids were going past them, Obi-Wan watched as a single battle droid marching behind the rest pulled out a holographic communications device.

"Bring all the battle droids to the main hangar. Destroyers will take care of the Jedi. We are preparing the invasion" a hologram of a battle droid commander told the isolated battle droid.

"Roger, Roger", the battle droid told the commander.

"Hey! all of you bucket heads, Commander 33-K wants you all to report to the main hangar", the battle droid with the communications device addressed his fellow battle droids.

"Hear that master? They're planning an invasion on Naboo!", Obi-Wan said.

"We must warn the queen immediately", Qui-Gon said.

The battle droids turned around and left, the one who delivered the message from the commander was still there.

Qui-Gon focused on the droid's holographic messenger. In seconds, the communications device started levitating and slowly moved towards the well trained Jedi master.

Awestruck, Obi-Wan stared at his master, who was busy trying to find the power switch on the device.

"Master, you have to push the top", Obi-Wan told his master.

"It seems that I have much to learn, even from my padawan", Qui-Gon said as he turned on the device and rotated the tuning disk until a holographic projection of Maoi Madakor projected from the base of the device.

"Captain, quick, start the engines. It was a trap. We're leaving right now!", Qui-Gon yelled at the device.

The captain nodded with the humming sound of the engine coming to life in the background.

"Woah, master. She probably pulled out the power lever, starting the engines that quickly", Obi-Wan joked.

"Come on, we better get back." Qui-Gon said and they both started running towards the Radiant VII, soon to be confronted by destroyer droids.

"Ah, I was waiting for them", Obi-Wan said.

Qui-Gon lifted them up in the air using the force and he smashed them together. Obi-Wan didn't even compliment his master, because of the rush they were in.

By the time they arrived at bay 8, they saw that Maoi was defending the Radiant VII with her blaster against few battle droids.

The two Jedi ran towards the Radiant VII, Obi-Wan taking out the last droid with his lightsaber.

"Oh you got that fixed, huh?", Maoi joked at Obi-Wan when he retracted the lightsaber blade.

Obi-Wan rushed towards the starboard gun command and powered on the cannons. Qui-Gon went towards the control panel and tried to contact the Naboo.

"Oh, the bloody communications' down", Qui-Gon said as he kept knocking on the radio transmitter.

The captain went back to arm the stern cannons. The two Jedi stared at her, confused more than the time that master Yoda wanted to learn ballet.

"What? You don't expect me to fly this thing", Qui-Gon said. The captain just smiled and in a second a silver-colored droid came from the bridge.

"My new friend here is a very good pilot, better than me I suppose", Maoi stated. "Take off, Jumper".

In less than five seconds, the Radiant VII came outside of the Saak'ak. The Jedi didn't even notice that the bay 8 door was opened.

"Ahem, hello? You don't think that your negotiation friends opened the bay 8 door for you, huh?", Maoi said.

"You're welcome", the droid said on the intercom. The Jedi thanked and concentrated on keeping their eyes peeled for enemies.

"Vulture droids at 5 o'clock!" Maoi yelled.

The gunners started firing green laser bolts at the droids. Most of them went down (or what is down, because there is no up or down is space) , but more kept coming. Suddenly a loud BOOM! shook the ship.

"Uh oh! Our shields are down!" The droid, Jumper, announced on the intercom. The droids kept firing and the ship was in no condition to fight. They put their speed up and started going faster towards Naboo. With a loud explosion sound, the engines gave up.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SHIP!?", Maoi screamed at the droids, who kept firing.

"We have to evacuate now, or we'll end up just like you engine, captain", Qui-Gon said. Not wanting to question the Jedi master, Maoi ran towards the escape pods and opened the hatch. Soon Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Maoi and Jumper was inside an escape pod.

They released the escape pod an was soon falling down towards Naboo. The Radiant VII blew up above them.

Chapter 3: The Baby Shark

The escape pod started spinning violently. Maoi, who was strapped to the seat near the control panel, tried to stabilize the pod, but it was no use.

"Quick, jumper, hack into the system and turn on the stabilizer thrusters", Maoi yelled at their droid over the sound of the shaking pod. Jumper followed her order immediately and two electrical rods came out of his fingers. He inserted the rods into the manual control slot and turned it. Now he had control over the pod.

With a loud hissing sound, the pod stabilized. Maoi took control of the pod, slowing the pod down. They are now a little bit above the clouds.

"Get ready for touchdown", Maoi told Obi-Wan and his master Qui-Gon-Jinn, both of them hadn't spoken a word since they left the Radiant VII.

As the pod came closer to land, they could only see blue. First they thought that their heat shield came down, but then Jumper confirmed that it was up. Which meant only one thing: water.

"Brace for impact!", Maoi yelled.

With a loud splash and a screaming padawan, the escape pod smashed into the ocean.

"Is everyone okay?", Qui-Gon asked.

"How did we not see the water?", Maoi asked while pressing some buttons on the control panel.

"Water will not come in, but our oxygen won't last long" Jumper said.

As the pod started to sink, the crew saw some kind of blinking light. At first they thought that they should swim and see what it is, but the Jedi does not have any spare A99 aquata breathers, plus, water would flow inside the pod if they open the hatch. Their best option here is to stay inside the pod and try to signal anyone...or anything.

Jumper turned on and off the lights quickly for few minutes, trying to signal the blinking light they saw before.

As time went by, the blinking light got brighter and brighter. After about 30 minutes they saw that the thing making the light had some kind of structure. It looked like a rope wait...an eel!

"Oh, no. Seems like the long fish came out for lunch", Obi-Wan said, and as soon as Maoi heard this she turned off the power.

"Hopefully the creature did not see us. Try to breathe less. The oxygen pump is turned off so we'll have to make do of what's filled inside the pod", Jumper said.

"Lucky for you, you don't even breathe", Obi-Wan told Jumper.

"Actually, Sir, even though I don't breathe, I still use oxygen to cle-"

With a loud groan, something hit their pod. The pod shook violently and slowly water started coming in through the front window, which was fractured.

"Oh no! Water! That will short circuit me!", Jumper exclaimed. Maoi came over towards Jumper and pressed a button on his chest. With a whirring sound the droid's system turned off.

"Our lightsabers are useless underwater, if only master Fisto was here", Obi-Wan said.

To their surprise, a bright light came through the windows, and soon they heard muffled motor sound, followed by an explosion. Torpedoes!

But to their surprise, the pod wasn't damaged. Not a scratch. They felt their pod shaking and soon, they saw their hatch was being cut opened.

The Jedi ignited their lightsabers and took stance in front of the hatch. The hatch was pulled outside. But to their surprise water didn't come in. Then they realized that their pod was inside of something.

"Hello, fancy seeing you here, Qui-Gon", answered a familiar voice.

"Master Fisto!", Obi-Wan yelled. "Why are you here?, better question how are you here and what are we inside of?"

"Whoa, whoah, slow down, my dear padawan", Master Fisto said. "And first, don't point your lightsaber at my face", master Fisto said and Obi-Wan realized that he still had his lightsaber ignited and was pointing it at master Fisto.

"I'm very sorry master", Obi-Wan said.

"Fisto, can you please answer the questions my padawan asked you", Qui-Gon

"Yes, I will. We have much to discuss. Follow me"

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan stepped out of the pod and started to follow master Kit Fisto. Maoi said that she'll meet them in a minute after she finishes booting Jumper up.

The Jedi came across a hall with wide mirrors on the side. While walking, master Fisto said:

"You are aboard the Trencher, or what some people call 'baby shark' "

Obi-Wan walked close to one of the mirrors and looked outside. He could see miles and miles of water. He can make out patches of coral growing here and there. Not very far away, was a big, eel-like creature. It was injured in ways that even Obi-Wan can't make out. It seems to be fleeing from the "Trencher".

"That thing was attacking you, but I personally hit it with some torpedoes", master Fisto boasted.

Walking around for a bit, they realized that this submarine is huge. Like _huge._ More than twice the size of the radiant VII, so this means that this submarine is nearly 300 m long. Yeah, "baby shark" for sure.

"Sir, we're approaching the fleet, now we are about 20 km away, shall we request permission to board?", a droid came and asked Fisto.

"Yes, also tell my cousin that we got company", Fisto told the droid.

The droid nodded and left, and Fisto turned to face Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan.

"Now, you'll know why we are called the 'baby shark' ", Fisto said, and with that, at the end of the hallway, a giant window opened up. Through the window, the Jedi could see a ginormous black blur, shaped like a triangle. As they got closer, they could make out the shapes of windows. They saw lights blinking on the sides.

"Wow, that's a pretty impressive underwater city", Qui-Gon said.

Fisto just smiled.

"Wait, that's no city! That's a shark! And we're heading straight at it!", Obi-Wan screamed.

"My friends, meet the _Mama Shark_ " Fisto said, and with that, the shark opened its mouth and swallowed the Trencher.


End file.
